Yes, I Take a Fully-Packed Train to Work Every Day

Read any article about “working in Japan” and you’ll no doubt run into the horror stories of the 満員電車 [man’in densha] which the dictionary simply tells you means “crowded train.”

If you’ve never been to Tokyo, or any other extremely densely populated city, you probably don’t have a clear picture of just what that actually feels like.

Imagine a train full of people. There’s nowhere to sit, and all reasonable standing space is taken up by someone.

Now add 10 more people.

Now add 10 more.

Keep going.

Did the windows break?

No? Okay maybe we can add 5 more people.

Oh two people got off!

+10 more people.

This is my morning commute.

I have determined that humans, as a collective substance, are not solid nor liquid but instead gas, expanding to fill the space available and compacting down impossibly under pressure.

This is the man’in densha – or more accurately, the rush hour train.

In the hours between let’s say 6:30am and 9:30am, depending on your location, everyone is trying to get into Tokyo for work or school. Trains on my line during this time come about every 1-3 minutes and they are still packed. I live outside of Tokyo (I’m actually not even in Tokyo, technically, just like I never lived in Boston) and so my commute is just more and more people getting on the train until we reach the first city stop.

There are three types of speeds on my line:

  • 急行 kyuukou – this is often described as the “rapid” train, and is the fastest option for me. This stops at only a half a dozen major stations and therefore takes the least amount of time to reach the end of the line. Consequently, it is also always packed.
  • 準急 junkyuu – this is referred to as the “semi-rapid” and acts like the “rapid” up until a particular station and then stops at every station until the end of the line. I feel like this ends up being the worst option because you get all the people who want to get to the city faster plus more stops for people to get on the train.
  • 各駅 kakueki – this is the “local” train and every line has this. Some might have the options above (or other variations) but every line has a local train, meaning it stops at every station. This takes the longest, and as a result might be less crowded? But there are also more stops for people to ride the train, so it’s a toss up. I don’t take this to work, but I do take it on the way home and often get a seat!

I think most people don’t enjoy the rush hour trains, but if I can maneuver myself into a safer spot, it’s not the worst experience in the world. I’m still impressed by the number of people who can squish themselves onto the train, although I have occasionally worried about the safety of smaller passengers when this happens. I’m 5’9″ so I’m a head above half the people who board, and this is one of the few times I’m happy to be tall here.

I’m also not on the worst line, according to coworkers, which has apparently actually had the windows break due to so many people trying to cram themselves onto the train… So I guess I can’t complain too much!

Moving Overseas Is Actually Really Stressful

Don’t give me that look.

It’s not like I thought it would be easy, I just thought because I’d mentally prepared myself for all the major tasks that I would also emotionally be in a good place during the whole process.

I was wrong, and you’ll probably be wrong too if you think that about moving countries!

(I mean, kudos to you if you can keep calm and stress-free while packing up and moving to another country after living in the same one all your life, but I’m going to guess that won’t be the case.)

I don’t mean to deter anyone from making this decision, but I do think it’s important to be aware of just how much extra mental and emotional exhaustion you will experience compared to what you might expect, and build in some extra time and/or comforts to help get you through it.

Things I did that really helped:

[ I left a reasonably well-paid job and don’t have family / pet expenses so a good number of these things relate to that fact. If you can’t afford to do them, then don’t, and don’t think you have to, but if you can do some variation (maybe only a few days instead of a week, or any kind of extra savings, etc) I really recommend it. ]

  • stopped working 1 week+ before departure
    • This seems obvious, but in case you thought you could jump right from work to the airplane, lemme sit you back down and tell you one week is the absolute minimum I would recommend.
  • arrived in the new country 1 week+ before first day of work
    • Again, this seems obvious, but especially when you are changing to a new timezone (+14 hours for me at the time) giving yourself that extra buffer to sync up with your new home is really helpful.
    • Well, that and giving yourself time to run around buying all the things you need that don’t exist in your new place (and there will always be something!)
  • saved up a lot of money in advance
    • You CAN move countries without a buffer of a good chunk of savings, but I don’t recommend it. Money stress on top of moving stress is a recipe for a mental breakdown.
  • stayed the first night in a hotel
    • Not only was I not able to check into my share house on day 1 because my flight arrival time was after their cutoff, but I’m also not sure I would have wanted to.
    • The last thing you want to worry about after 12+ hours on a plane is whether you have sheets, or towels, or a pillow. Just let someone else take care of that and get some sleep.
  • sent my luggage ahead
    • This is really common in Japan because taking bulky luggage on the trains is … difficult at best. Total cost for my three pieces of luggage was maybe $40USD? Absolutely worth it.
  • took a taxi (with my luggage) from the hotel to my share house
    • Again, bringing luggage on the train just isn’t worth it. This taxi ride was more expensive than using the luggage sending service again, but I had the added benefit of keeping everything with me and not needing to wait for them to deliver it the next day.

Things that were harder than I expected:

  • making everything fit in my luggage
    • Ultimately, I did fail in this endeavor and still have a good number of boxes in the hands of my very understanding family who will ship them to me at a later date.
    • 2 large suitcases just don’t hold that much stuff, in the end!
  • going through and making decisions about 9000 small items
    • Although I spent the better part of a year going through my clothes, I failed to realize that my accessory & miscellaneous item collection was so large because it fit into a much smaller space.
    • The mental/emotional exhaustion from going through so many individual items and trying to decide what to keep and what to throw away had me in tears by the end.
  • getting everything I needed once I arrived (a.k.a. walking is actually a lot of work if you aren’t used to it)
    • I knew I was not, like, in shape, but I didn’t think I was so much of a total slug when it came to just walking around. Every day I went out for hours to get basic items and I would come back obliterated.
    • I do miss the convenience of a car, but in the end I’m hoping this will improve my overall health so I’m just pushing through it.
  • finding the motivation to document literally anything I did
    • I really did plan to like… take pictures! and video! and talk about what I was experiencing while I was experiencing it but honestly it took everything I had just to do everything I needed to do, much less analyze it from an outsider’s view to share with friends and family.
    • You’ll notice this post is happening a whole month+ after moving. Between walking and interacting with approximately 100+ more people than I’m used to, each day would end with me wanting to just crawl into bed and watch ASMR videos until I fell asleep. I might be in a better place now. Maybe.

Would I change anything I did, if I had to do it over?

Probably would actually try to pack everything earlier and just live on 2 outfits for a while or something.

But other than that, I actually feel like I did a pretty good job! No disasters, and no serious complaints.

That doesn’t mean I want to attempt moving overseas again any time soon (or ever) and while I do encourage people who are interested in living overseas to definitely do it, I don’t wish that chaos on anyone who isn’t fully invested in the result.

Friendship Bribes

As I’m preparing for meeting dozens if not hundreds of new people in the coming months, I’d been doing some thinking and research into what non-perishable food items I can bring with me to share with my (hopefully) new friends.

In the US, you might consider doing something like this if you live in or visit an area with very well-known specialties, but it’s not expected that you will bring anything with you.

When Americans travel abroad, they buy souvenirs – a word based in the French verb “to remember” – something for themselves to help them remember the trip they went on. Perhaps they also buy gifts for friends and family, but I don’t believe most people feel compelled to do so. Souvenirs are everything from trinkets to clothing, but most important to this discussion is the fact that they generally are not food. After all, it’s hard to remember your trip months down the line by the cookies you ate 5 days after you arrived home.

Some people may disagree, but in my opinion food items purchased while abroad, whether for yourself or others, are merely gifts and not souvenirs. There’s no specific word for it.

On the other hand, when one travels within or outside of Japan and returns home, one is socially obligated to bring back omiyage (お土産) for family, friends, and colleagues. I don’t have statistics for this quick blog post, but if I had to guess I’d say 80-90% of all omiyage is food. Any trip to an airport, major train station, or even grocery store in Japan will bring this point home neatly.

Part of this is just pure practicality – if you’re obligated to give every time you travel, then everyone around you is obligated to receive and presumably store whatever you give them. Unless of course it’s consumables! Then all you have to take care of is the mountains of packaging surrounding it.

I personally feel like this lightens the pressure of picking the food gift as well – if they hate it, at least they won’t feel like they need to hold onto it lest you show up at their house one day in hopes of seeing that beautiful cat statue displayed in their living room.

It was a bit difficult for me to pick out items that I felt were unique because, having lived in America for basically all but four months of my life, none of it felt very special. So I went online and searched (in Japanese) to see what people were bringing back, or at the very least, what websites suggested people bring back.

In the end I went the snack and candy route, as that’s the easiest to divide up (individual packaging), least likely to get damaged in transit, and most importantly won’t spoil quickly.

Here’s what I bought:

  • Cheez It snack packs in three flavors
  • Snyders 100 calorie pretzel packs (3 different types!)
  • Goldfish in classic cheddar flavor
  • Milk Chocolate Flipz in Halloween themed snack packs
  • Ghiradelli assorted minis
  • Ghiradelli pumpkin spice caramel
  • Ritz peanut butter sandwich snack packs
  • Skittles
  • Smarties
  • Lindt assorted mix
  • Starbursts
  • Reese’s/Hershey’s Halloween mix
  • Sour Patch Kids
  • Candy Corn
  • Butterfingers

This is a bunch of aggressively bright colored packaging with all the prominent American flavors:

  1. Sweet
  2. Salty
  3. Sour
  4. Peanut Butter
  5. Cheese

I’ve got fruity, chocolate, peanut butter, cheese and just plain sugar. Doesn’t get more American than that, at least when it comes to non-perishable snack food.

The final touch will be to package all these up into adorable little gift bags, hopefully in red/white/blue coloring for that extra ~American~ flare. I may still pick up a couple extra nice items for my new bosses, but these will be great for meetups and especially the start of my internship.

Now I just need to figure out how to fit all of this in my suitcase…

Obvious in Hindsight

At this point in my journey, I wonder if, when I told people around me that I’m moving to Japan, they really just thought “Well, obviously.”

I think about Japan all the time – I suppose I don’t talk about Japan all the time, but it’s present in everything I do. I wear fashion from Japan, I have all kinds of jewelry, accessories, and shoes. I listen to Japanese music and watch TV shows. I follow almost exclusively vloggers who live in or frequently visit Japan. I cook Japanese food. I’ve even imported small furniture or houseware items because that’s the style I like.

I don’t mean to say I only consume products or follow trends from Japan and nowhere else because that’s not true, but the ratio of Japanese to non-Japanese things has been steadily growing.

None of these things mean I want to be Japanese – I don’t wish my race was different or that I was born in Japan, or anything like that. I can enjoy and be interested in a different culture without rejecting my own. I do hope that someday my Japanese becomes good enough to make people wonder if I’ve lived there most of my life. The desire to sound native is a universal one for serious language learners worldwide, I feel.

There will probably always be a distance between me and most Japanese friends I make – our experiences growing up were very different – but that doesn’t mean we can’t get along or talk about shared experiences we’re having now.

My goal for living in Japan is to integrate.

My perspective will be different than those who grew up in the country, and I want to share that, but I don’t want to stay totally separate. I don’t like things from Japan because Japan is some mystical wonderland where everything is kawaii and perfect.

I like what I like because I like it.

I like Japan.

I’ve always known this, but I followed the most common sense logic I encountered everywhere: Japan is a great place to vacation, but a terribly difficult place to live. So of course I believed I also did not really want to live there, I just wanted more time to travel! Like, every year! Maybe multiple times a year if I could manage it. I’d shop online and have boxes delivered every month full of new wonderful things for myself and my apartment. It’s almost like living there.

So, why didn’t I want to move there, again?

What was I staying here for, again?

Something that I struggle with is doing or not doing something based on what people around me will bother me about. Not so much what they think, but what they will do and say. I actively avoided doing things that would invite uncomfortable conversations because I just did not want to have them, at any cost.

Telling people I was moving overseas was not a small task to ask of me.

I avoided it for 10 years.

I think now that I’m older, and I’ve experienced a lot of things that have shown me that the only person who will truly make my life great the way that I want is me… well, I almost can’t even be bothered to worry about it anymore.

This is my life and I’m going to live it the way I want. No more regrets, no more I could have or should have.

I want to recognize what’s important to me now, instead of finding it obvious in hindsight.

Two Weeks Before Departure

Let’s do a quick recap before the ramble!

I have the following left:

  • 14 days before my flight
  • 3 full work days
  • Everything to pack

I am feeling:

  • Very excited!
  • Gradually more anxious
  • Slightly worried I’m forgetting something important

I’ve been to Japan for varying lengths of time in the past, and I’ve traveled a lot in the last 10 years, so the process of packing and actually flying doesn’t worry me. Really, that’s the easy part. The truly nerve-wracking scenarios involve talking to hundreds of total strangers in my second language and having to prove I can be a competent, valuable worker in just a 30 minute conversation.

In short, I’m not nervous about being in Japan, I’m nervous about networking and securing a good job with visa sponsorship.

When it comes to being in Japan and dealing with everything unrelated to work there, I’m just excited! I love the trains, the scenery, the food, the calm chaos of crosswalks and train platforms. I’m not afraid in Japan. I know that there are plenty of scary things that could happen, but at this point I don’t feel that it’s more dangerous than where I live right now. It feels like a dream to think this time in just over 2 weeks I’ll be back in Tokyo – I know it’s not for good (yet), but one step at a time.

In the past couple months, I’ve learned so much about so many things, including myself. I never thought that making this decision would have the effect it did. I feel less conflicted, less anxious, more confident, and so much happier than I felt this time last year. It’s like realizing a dream I didn’t even fully understood I had. I mean, of course I knew I wanted to go back to Japan, but I hadn’t realized how much I wanted it.

I honestly think part of that was being afraid that if I admitted to myself how important this was, I’d have no choice but to go through with it.

There have always been reasons not to go. None of those are enough to stop me anymore.

So, I’m going.

14 days!

Why Blogging?

Okay, okay, so you’re moving to Japan to live and work there! That’s cool… but why a BLOG?

Yes, it’s true. The blog format has fallen off in the last 5 or so years, possibly correlating with the rise of video platforms like Youtube. And I get it! Easily digestible, colorful, pleasantly-soundtracked videos are so rewarding to watch. You can learn how to do anything, travel anywhere, check out the latest fashion, make-up and technology and even relax before bed. Why not do videos?

Why not do videos?

I might do videos! But I think first, I’ll always do blog posts. You can share so much more information and organize it in more interactive ways on a website. I love details. Ask anyone at my work – I write the most detailed, specific instructions whenever I do documentation.

That is what I want to provide to everyone who comes here, looking for information on “How To [      ] Japan”

I don’t want to make vague, rambling videos about whatever comes to mind on a topic – if I’m going to talk about budgeting for everyday life in Japan then by god I’m going to have numbers. Yes, everything is specific to my circumstances, but it will be a concrete reference point. It’s frustrating to search through videos looking for “how expensive is Japan really” and get mostly “it’s sooooo expensive!” or “it’s not that bad compared to Australia/Singapore,” the latter of which is only really helpful if you already have a good idea of what “normal” costs are like in those countries.

You can do all that in a video, you know.

I know! It might be kind of a long video, though, or have a lot of graphics / text cluttering up the screen.

I do want to make those videos. But I also want to make blog posts.

There’s another reason to make blog posts – they are searchable.

You can look for any keyword you want! You can even skim the text to see if what you want is in there!

I don’t enjoy the idea of holding an audience captive to hear the answer to one question buried in a 20 minute video. I’m here to provide information in the most straightforward way possible.

If I do videos, I want them to be entertaining. I want to share something fun, or cool! Maybe sometimes it’ll be chill and relaxing.

I want viewers who are interested in the experiences I’m sharing. I feel like sometimes baiting people with informational titles that only comprise a small part of the video can breed some resentment in those who dropped by because of that title, instead of the usual audience. I don’t want to be famous that way – it’s debatable I want to be famous at all to be perfectly honest!

I just want to make the content I want to make, and share it with people who want to see it.

That’s all!

So….. no videos?

Not yet. But maybe in a month or so 🙂

First Step of 1000 Miles

On Oct 17th, I will board a flight that starts my two month journey of pursuing a full time job in Japan.

During those two months, I will be working as an unpaid intern, applying to jobs, and attending every networking event I can find.

Oh, and writing a bit here and there, taking a bunch of photos, and maybe even some Youtube videos! You know, in my spare time.

So let’s start with the basics:

Who am I?
I’m a 33 year old female who is looking for work as a Software Developer in Tokyo.

Aren’t you a little old to be moving countries?
Absolutely not. /end

Okay, so why now?
It’s true, if I just wanted to move to Japan I probably could have just applied to become an English teacher when I was 22, right out of college. Unfortunately, I did a lot of research about that option, and the life it would give me, and that wasn’t what I wanted for myself. I also think I probably would have had a really hard time and might have just given up after a year.

I’m a very different person now, and I’m in a much better place to achieve my dream of living in Japan long-term.

Can you even understand Japanese?
The short answer is yes. I majored in Japanese language for my first degree (graduating in 2007) and I passed the N2 level of the Japanese Language Proficiency Test in 2010. My goal is to pass the N1 and maybe start seriously studying for the 日本漢字能力検定 (Japan Kanji Aptitude Test) once I’m settled in Japan.

2010 was 8 years ago, why haven’t you passed N1 yet?
Lack of dedication, mostly, but also because it’s difficult to reach that level of proficiency living outside the country. It’s certainly possible, but I didn’t put in the time.

If you pass the N1, will you be fluent? Are you fluent now?
No, I don’t consider myself fluent. My personal bar for “fluency” is quite high, including feeling comfortable in a variety of situations and conversations, and being able to read anything that’s put in front of me (unless of course it’s specialized literature like medical journals or similar).

I certainly can get by in most situations, and I would say I’m conversationally fluent. There’s still a lot I would need to learn in business situations, for example, to consider myself fluent.

Like most language aptitude tests, the JLPT is not a true measure of fluency. Just like having a 800+ TOIEC score does not indicate fluency for English, for example. Standardized tests are a singular measure, usually for passive understanding of a language – reading and listening only. Additionally, such tests are in a controlled environment and have clear patterns to them. You can be good at the test, but terrible in real life. This is one of the big reasons why I want to live in the country – to improve my comprehension and ability to express myself in the language.

Wait, HOW LONG have you been studying Japanese?
Approximately 15-16 years, depending on how I count it.

Isn’t Japan expensive?
Yes and no. Cost of living is relative – my frame of reference is a city outside Boston, Massachusetts, which, if you’re not familiar with the area, is a decently expensive place to live. Boston itself is quite expensive, and the areas around it are still pretty expensive. I plan to do a detailed comparison once I’ve completely moved, so watch out for that!

How can you afford to do this?
I’ve been working full time for 6 years, and started seriously saving up about a year ago. I certainly have enough to cover me for a few months, and my ultimate goal is to get a full-time offer with visa sponsorship starting by April 2019.

Additionally, although this internship is unpaid, it is reimbursed – the company is paying for my roundtrip flights and living expenses for those 7 weeks during the internship. I will still be covering my part of rent and utilities back in the US during this time, but all my day to day costs are covered by the internship.

Again, I plan to do a detailed accounting of all of this later, so look forward to that if you’re still wondering how this is possible.

I want to know what you’re doing real-time! What social media do you use??
You can follow me on Instagram here: berryaesthetic
and on Twitter here: berryaesthetic

Are you going to do Youtube?! I want to see life in Japan!
That’s my goal, but I’ve never made videos before so temper your expectations. I’ll promote that link once I have a video to show!

Do you play games? Will you do Twitch streams? What about IRL streams?
I do play games! I don’t yet know if Twitch streaming will work out for me – I’ve done some streaming in the past, but had to stop due to scheduling constraints. (And you know, needing to sleep sometimes!) I’d love to get back to it, but that probably won’t happen until I move next year. If you want lives, follow my Instagram above – I might do some Insta lives occasionally!