Let’s do a quick recap before the ramble!

I have the following left:

• 14 days before my flight
• 3 full work days
• Everything to pack

I am feeling:

• Very excited!
• Gradually more anxious
• Slightly worried I’m forgetting something important

I’ve been to Japan for varying lengths of time in the past, and I’ve traveled a lot in the last 10 years, so the process of packing and actually flying doesn’t worry me. Really, that’s the easy part. The truly nerve-wracking scenarios involve talking to hundreds of total strangers in my second language and having to prove I can be a competent, valuable worker in just a 30 minute conversation.

In short, I’m not nervous about being in Japan, I’m nervous about networking and securing a good job with visa sponsorship.

When it comes to being in Japan and dealing with everything unrelated to work there, I’m just excited! I love the trains, the scenery, the food, the calm chaos of crosswalks and train platforms. I’m not afraid in Japan. I know that there are plenty of scary things that could happen, but at this point I don’t feel that it’s more dangerous than where I live right now. It feels like a dream to think this time in just over 2 weeks I’ll be back in Tokyo – I know it’s not for good (yet), but one step at a time.

In the past couple months, I’ve learned so much about so many things, including myself. I never thought that making this decision would have the effect it did. I feel less conflicted, less anxious, more confident, and so much happier than I felt this time last year. It’s like realizing a dream I didn’t even fully understood I had. I mean, of course I knew I wanted to go back to Japan, but I hadn’t realized how much I wanted it.

I honestly think part of that was being afraid that if I admitted to myself how important this was, I’d have no choice but to go through with it.

There have always been reasons not to go. None of those are enough to stop me anymore.

So, I’m going.

14 days!